![]() Yet, my husband’s emotional wounds opened my eyes to another battle with the ugly serpent of pride. In this, I experienced victory through the Holy Spirit. In the beginning, my battle was to love those whom I considered responsible for his pain. It’s difficult to walk into the refiner’s fire with joy, even though we believe and know that we will look more like Jesus when the fire subsides! I was disappointed that after more than twenty years in ministry, the prickly people God places in our paths could still cause such a great battle in our hearts. Knowing my husband was questioning his call to ministry brought great conflict to my heart I was angry because the leadership seemed uninterested in or ignorant of the toll this struggle was taking on him. Dutch Sheets in his book, Tell Your Heart to Beat Again talks about hope deferred as being a heart disease in which confidence in ourselves, our dreams, and even God, erodes. He longed for reconciliation that eluded him (Prov. His heart was weakened and he needed help. I watched helplessly as he began a weekly battle to find the strength to go to the pulpit, knowing he would look into faces of indifference and animosity. The opinion voiced by a man in leadership, “You’re the pastor, so you should expect this sort of thing,” echoed in his heart, adding to feelings of guilt and inadequacy from not being able to “buck up” and keep going. He had sought the Lord, moved in obedience to everything He asked yet the situation remained unresolved.Ĭonsequently, he found himself questioning God’s delay in bringing reconciliation to what had once been a very supportive friendship. Inability to resolve a four-year conflict with a member of our church had left him emotionally empty and physically worn out. ![]() ![]() ![]() My husband recently “hit a wall.” He had not been himself for months, but this was beyond being out of sorts. ![]()
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